


Why?

by moffwithhishead



Series: Sometimes I drabble [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Purgatory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-10
Updated: 2013-03-10
Packaged: 2017-12-04 21:44:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/715418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moffwithhishead/pseuds/moffwithhishead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Purgatory drabble when Dean finally asks why and Cas finally answers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why?

It’s marginally darker than normal which Dean takes to mean it’s night. It’s also colder and if it weren’t for the angel pressed up against his side, he’d be freezing right now. Cas has always been warmer than a human; it used to be one of Dean’s favorite things about him. Until… well, until his best friend went nuclear and inadvertently got their asses sent to Purgatory. The longer they’re here though, the more Dean finds himself forgiving Cas. Maybe it’s out of necessity, maybe it’s because he feels like he should or maybe it’s because he forgave him the moment he saw Emmanuel alive on that front porch. “Why’d you do it?”

There’s a real chance that Dean’s more surprised than Cas by the question but he asks again when his angel doesn’t answer, “Cas… why’d you do it?” A very human sounding sigh came from the side where Cas is resting, “I have done many things Dean. I am afraid you will have to be more specific.” If Benny were here right now, there would be some well-deserved ‘I told you so’ing going on (he doesn’t think Cas would know how to be funny if a sense of humor jumped out from behind a tree and bit his ass) because the response makes Dean chuckle and gesture to their surroundings, “This. Why’d you make that deal with Crowley to open Purgatory? I mean I know the war had been going on for years by that point but I just figured if it was that bad, you would have asked for help.”

Castiel was silent for a long time. It could have been seconds for all Dean knew but everything in Purgatory felt like it took forever, something about being stuck in a land that was made to keep undead things from living and dying at the same time.

When the angel spoke again his voice was quiet and solemn, like he was remembering a bad dream, “Had Raphael won, he would have restarted the Apocalypse.” Dean shifted a little and looked at his friend over his shoulder, “So you’ve told me.” Cas smiled a little at that and continued, “While we were successful in averting it the first time… it caused you great pain. It caused Sam and Bobby great pain as well. What Sam did when he jumped into the cage…” Dean pretended it still didn’t hurt to remember watching his baby brother sacrifice himself like that. “That was luck, Dean. Raphael intended to use you both as vessels again and this time… he would not have been as kind as Michael was.”

Again that startled a laugh from the hunter, “So you’re telling me Michael’s the one with manners in the family?” Castiel smiled wryly, “That would be one way to put it, yes. I am aware that you three can take care of yourselves…” The smile fell and his voice was quieter as he looked down at his hands, “You once told me that I was family. I suppose the thought of watching my family hurting so… I couldn’t let that happen again. I knew the risks that my plan had and I knew that if I told you, you would stop me. But as long as the three of you were safe… I felt like it would be worth it. You hating me, you killing me, me dying because of my own mistakes… I would have accepted it all so long as I knew you would never have to lose your brother like that again.”

The air suddenly felt infinitely heavier than it had a moment ago and Dean almost wished he hadn’t asked the question, “Cas…” What the hell do you say to that? Everything that came to mind felt insufficient and wrong and just didn’t fit. So instead of saying anything, Dean’s hand found Cas’ and squeezed it as he laced their fingers together, “You’re an idiot.” They were silent for a minute more, just looking at each other, before Dean pulled his angel close and kissed him. It said enough.

**Author's Note:**

> cross posted from my tumblr, [here.](http://castielresidentbamf.tumblr.com/post/44816390013/its-marginally-darker-than-normal-which-dean)


End file.
